More tranny stories later!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
