Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
