why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
