So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
