My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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