can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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