thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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