You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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