I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
