You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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