No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
there's paper in my vomit.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
