I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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