You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You've changed since you got that strap on
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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