I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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