after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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