maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
