you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
