Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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