Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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