Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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