They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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