Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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