All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
