Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I had to cum in my sink.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
