alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
