My liver just broke up with me...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
