do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
