my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
