I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize