you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
