Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
