ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
