I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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