last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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