"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize