Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
