That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
How's work?
Spinning.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
