yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
