A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
