Midget sex pt 2 tonight
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
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Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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