I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
