But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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