Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
