I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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