This girl is more easily done than said...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
