dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
