The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
