Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
