I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i used baking grease as lip gloss
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
