You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Pooping to opera.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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