haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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