There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
