that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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