I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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