I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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