i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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