No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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