maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
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We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize