Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
