listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
A bitchslap is in order.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
