Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
